Or the land of tsetse flies. By all means, I have never seen swarms of this caliber as black, blue, and black flags swayed in the breeze.

No one really could tell me much about Nhakotakota Wildlife Reserve before, no one I know had visited this sanctuary. Good enough reason to go and explore, that’s what we are here for. You never know until you go.

I took the M5 from Salina north, along the western shores of Lake Malawi. ‘The road to Nhakotakota is catastrophic! And worse further north!’ I been told before heading out of ‘Cool Runnings’. ‘We have done worse’ I replied.

We didn’t. It was hands down the most holy smoke highway I took Zimba onto. The N1 north in Mozambique was on even par at least. Left, right, and centre the road waltz followed. There isn’t much traffic for obvious reasons, which was the only bonus. Plenty of detours gave this drive a dusty rally feeling, covering flora and houses nearby. It shows that construction is willing to upgrade, it’s a slow process.

So was our journey as we arrived at the gates to Nhakotakota Wildlife Reserve. It was dry, it was hot. I booked in for two nights camping, which wasn’t easy either. ‘Ja, but not here. Can’t camp there since elephants had been reintroduced.’

‘African Parks’ directed and funded a major upgrade to this park as it shows at the campground.

It appeared just like being at Majete Wildlife Reserve. A campground ranger had to be fetched as I was the only camper there and I came unannounced.

‘When was the last time someone else had camped here?’ I asked as he showed me around empty accommodation options. ‘A German couple stayed here last week’ he thinks.

Okay, if nothing else, it’s nice and quiet here. ‘There is a gas stove and there’s a fridge/freezer that works on gas. Shall I turn them on?’ ‘Yes please, it’s around 40 ies degrees Celsius already.’

I headed north toward the dry Bua Riverbed and kept an eye out for movements in the bushes. The only movement was around Zimba. Lots of it. Swarms of tsetse flies I hadn’t encountered before tried to get in the cockpit area and succeeded. I always drive with windows wide open. These flies have a tangy sting that goes through clothing. They are hardy customers and need a good slapping. The risk of tsetse fever is another woeful factor. Tsetse flies are attracted by the colors black and blue, the reason why banners in those colors line the way. This isn’t much fun as turned my zebra around. We both weren’t impressed.

I cooked my dinner early as the sun set and enjoyed peace and tranquility. The camp warden mate came over later, saying that his boss called. She told him that if I use the gas stove and fridge, I must pay extra. ‘That’s not gonna happen, mate. No butts, no ifs, it’s not gonna happen. There are no signs whatsoever that the use of gas comes with an extra charge. Simple as that.’ He called her again and trotted back to me after. It was around 9 pm already and I got somewhat annoyed. So much for peace and quietness. ‘I am not paying extra. My wallet is stung way too much $ US to be stung by pesty flies. I haven’t seen a single elephant or any other mentioning worthy wild animal. And no, I am not going to call her. Leave me alone!’ Afterpay surely is an African invention, it’s so frustrating.

I was up early again but not in a rush to drive anywhere. Old mate hushed around me in the morning, not saying much. My hopes of seeing some wildlife were slim.

I wasn’t disappointed.

I had my coffee and muesli before heading off another dusty and corrugated track. There was a Hyde near a waterhole on my way out west towards Tongole Wilderness Lodge. Surely I can hide there from flying tyrants. The elevated shelter keeps me cooler as well. Apart from Pumba and his cousins, maybe something more exciting will need some much-needed water. Ohh, there is some movement. Ja, just my cousins as the troop entered the scene.

Pumba knows how to keep cool and anti-pesticide with a thick layer of mud. I got my computer and iPad out, at least I can do something useful whilst glaring towards the sun. Nope, nothing else. Wait, there is some movement in the distance. I can’t quite work it out yet. There are four of them.

Oho, it’s the rare species of rangers walking straight toward the Hyde. Seems more rangers than wildlife here.

It was after midday already and I tossed to turn right, towards Tongole Lodge. The windows were up and the aircon was on for the first time ever. Surely I would come across some wildlife. Nope. Nothing. Nada

There was a sole waterbuck standing in the shadow of a bush opposite a very posh but empty lodge. There is a decent waterhole of the Bua River in front of the lodge. Millions were spent on this surely overpriced accommodation.

‘We had one elephant here this morning’ one of the bored service men said. ‘Wow! And no one here to see it?’

Sarcasm is gold, particularly if people don’t understand.

Murphy and his law bit me in the butt driving back, as I heard a noise coming from Zimba’s right front hoof. ‘Not again!?’ I heard this sound three times before and was told as many times that I wouldn’t hear it again.

The first time with this incident, I was on my way to Cape Maclear and thought that a stone had gotten into the rim and wrecked the alloy rim.

It turned out that one of the caliper bolts came loose and disappeared. These two bolts hold the brake system in place. Breaking bad was not an option. I still had about 10 kms to drive to make it to camp. Even though I haven’t seen a single dangerous animal or any animal, I am still in a tight spot. I was hot and surrounded by tsetse flies which didn’t increase my enjoyment. Oh well, just smile and move on.

Admittedly, I should have checked mechanical handy work before because this is Africa. Check, check, check. Anything and everything at any time. But realistically, how hard is it to tighten a bolt?

Back at Levizi Camp, I jacked Zimba up and asked camp mate if they had a spare bolt at the mechanic workshop? If not, if they knew, where to get one. Only smaller towns line the M5. ‘The mechanics would come in the morning for assistance’.

And so they did. Talking to Gift, I felt confident that this time the issue would be solved. For good, as I told him about my previous three experiences with mechanics.

A big compliment and thank you goes out to Gift and his mechanical crew at the game reserve workshop. I haven’t had any more issues since. First, they tried to recut the thread of the knuckle-housing. ‘This won’t last long’ Gift said. ‘It’s best to replace the knuckle-housing altogether. We have a few spare ones lying around.’

One of the biggest advantages of driving a ‘96 built, 80 series Landcruiser is that spare parts are readily available. ‘It’s a bit of a mission to replace the knuckle-housing’ Gift explained.

‘I fully put my trust in your ability’ as he directed the apprentices on how and what to do. Gift himself had been trained here at this workshop for 5 years. Now he is in charge. I was a bit anxious at starters due to previous experiences and promises but just watched on as they completed their task.

‘99.9 percent good as new. You won’t have any issues with this anymore.’ And I hadn’t, to this day. Zikomo.

I had to sign out at the entrance gate. Madame called me in and went on about the gas-paying incident. I asked where exactly, here or at the campground, is there any notification about the use of gas. Secondly, I just came from Majete National Reserve where the use of gas is part of the camp fees. Any campground in fact.’ She tried to come up with the usual lame excuses why this or that didn’t happen, as I wished her a good day. ‘By the way, some of your road signs show the opposite direction.’

Driving further north confidently with Zimba’s front hoof finally fixed, thinking about what if or what if not.

What do you think?